All my life, I have had an all-or-nothing mentality, also known as the perfectionist mindset. I have always said to myself, if I had to do it, it\u2019d better be done in the best way or if I take this risk, I\u2019d better be successful. While trying and doing your best is always good, I\u2019ve come to realise that this kind of thinking can sometimes sabotage achieving anything.<\/p>\n
I finally had a light-bulb moment this year when I started allowing myself to do more public speaking. I used to say to myself that until I am the best public speaker I know, I won\u2019t speak at events. Well, to become good at anything, one needs practice and until we let go to all-or-nothing or the perfectionist mentality, we won\u2019t be get a chance to practice. I\u2019m happy to report that although I\u2019m far from being the best public speaker I know, I\u2019m much much better than I was a year ago.<\/p>\n
Being an introvert, I dislike public settings and try to avoid them at all cost. Up until recently, whenever I got invited to parties and events, I used to stress for days and weeks, depending on how far in advance I knew about it, on how to find an excuse so I did not have to attend. If I really had to attend, I\u2019d play and rehearse in my head about what I\u2019d say and what people would say and how conversations would go. That, of course, didn\u2019t work because most of the times, these things are unpredictable.<\/p>\n
Ever since my daughter has started school, she has been invited to many birthday parties and as a mother, I obviously don\u2019t want her to miss out on having fun with her friends. So that means I\u2019ve been going to many kids\u2019 birthday parties too and talking to school mums and socialising with them. And guess what, I no longer stress out about doing so anymore and I now don\u2019t even have to go to bed rehearsing conversations in my head the night before the event.<\/p>\n
We have always been told that we should be kind, considerate and treat everyone the way you want to be treated. Well, I\u2019ve realised that while the first part of the advice is a sound advice, the second part couldn\u2019t be more wrong. Everyone is different with different values and needs and unless you meet someone who is almost identical to you, treating them how you\u2019d like to be treated is not going to make them tick.<\/p>\n