Confidence is a tricky thing \u2014 it\u2019s the sweet spot between feeling doubtful and being cocky, and it\u2019s definitely easier said than done. Everyone seems to want it, but only a few have mastered it.<\/p>\n
I, for one, didn\u2019t consider myself to be a confident person for a long time. I used to think that to be confident, one must be perfect, and I\u2019m far from perfect. Therefore, I didn\u2019t allow myself to feel confident. It sounds a bit silly but that was exactly what I thought. Fortunately, over time, I\u2019ve learned to be confident and have received positive comments from others regarding my self-confidence. I believe being confident is a learned skill and there are a few techniques that I\u2019ve used which have worked well for me. I\u2019d like to share them so you may benefit from them too. There are only five techniques but, believe me, when you apply them regularly, I guarantee that you\u2019ll find self-confidence in no time.<\/p>\n
Confidence is often backed by having knowledge and skills \u2014 AKA capability \u2014 and I\u2019ve found that the more capable I am, the easier it is for me to feel confident. For example, when I\u2019m speaking in front of people or presenting about a topic if I\u2019ve done homework and preparation, it gives me confidence because I understand the topic well. Similarly, if I\u2019m cooking a special dinner for guests, if I\u2019ve cooked similar dishes before then I\u2019m confident that my dinner will turn out great because I have prior experience. We all have heard it many times before: practice makes perfect. The key to confidence in a particular area or skill is to do the hard work of becoming good at it. Then, confidence will follow easily.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s hard to feel or appear confident when we are stressed. It simply isn\u2019t possible to be confident and stressed at the same time. It\u2019s also impossible to be stressed and comfortable at the same time. Therefore, when I\u2019m feeling nervous or stressed, I try to relax, breathe in and out, and smile. This helps me feel more comfortable and grounded, which in turn makes me appear more confident.<\/p>\n
When a friend of mine was looking for a new job after being made redundant, she asked me for tips on looking confident at interviews. She\u2019s a very capable person in her field and has many years of experience. But the thing is, she had been working at the same company for the past 7 years and she felt nervous about jumping into the job market again. She wanted to know how to look the part and show confidence in herself at interviews so that her potential employers would have a good first impression of her. When I told her to just smile, breathe, and relax, she looked unsure and told me that it sounded too simple to be effective. But she tried it anyway and guess what? She got the first job she applied for! The interviewer actually commented that he believed in her capabilities because she was so relaxed and confident.<\/p>\n
Words are a big part of our daily lives. When we\u2019re speaking, writing, or even thinking, we\u2019re using words. We use words to convey messages to others and also to ourselves; which words we use influence our self-belief and others\u2019 perceptions of us. Using words that indicate uncertainty \u2014 like \u201cI think\u201d, \u201cmaybe\u201d, \u201cperhaps\u201d, \u201cjust\u201d, or \u201cI guess\u201d \u2014 undermine our credibility by creating the impression that we\u2019re unsure of ourselves. On the other hand, if we use words like \u201cI believe\u201d, \u201cI recommend\u201d, \u201cI am sure\u201d, \u201cCertainly\u201d, and so on, we\u2019re telling ourselves and others that we\u2019re decisive and can be relied upon to make decisions or provide input. Buddhist teaching says, \u201cWe are what we think.\u201d If we think we\u2019re not good enough and our words reinforce that, finding confidence in ourselves is going to be a hard task. A similar saying is attributed to Henry Ford: \u201cWhether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.\u201d<\/p>\n